Since May is officially Mental Health Awareness Month, it seems only fitting to discuss the struggle of being both a mother and an entrepreneur. As women, we are often expected to maintain the societal standards of perfection and politeness in each of our many roles, whether that be mother, partner, professional, business owner or the like, while not allowing those roles to cross over too much. Much of society is not ready to see women upholding a variety of roles in an interconnected way; we should not be too motherly while in our professional environment, and we should not focus on anything work-related while around our children.
At the same time, women are still expected to do it all and praised so openly when we do. Women are incredible; we can multi-task and be successful at everything as long as it’s separate (sarcasm)! Society as a whole places an incredible burden on women in this way of thinking which often leads to the eventual decline of our mental health- as if postpartum wasn’t enough.
It’s the guilt of not being a good enough employee or professional when we have to excuse ourselves to help or care for our children. It’s the guilt of not being involved enough as a mother because we have to attend work during the day. It’s the guilt of working from home and having to ask our child not to interrupt us. It’s the guilt of being on a work call and having to ask our colleagues to excuse us for a moment. It’s the guilt of being a stay at home mother and tending solely to our children, while we may be abandoning who we are/our needs. It’s the guilt of recognizing our needs and doing something for ourselves instead of caring solely for our children. It’s the guilt of not being able to be a stay at home mother. It’s the guilt of reaching out because our mental health is declining, but feeling like it’s a burden. It’s the guilt of acknowledging that we are not always okay.
Yes, women are amazing and women are intelligent and we are often able to handle multiple things at once, but it’s incredible unfair to be asked to separate our multiplicity of roles when it is entirely who we are to the core. We need to embrace that and we need to praise that. Let’s step back from patriarchal expectations of professionalism and support women by offering flexibility to them in both maternal and professional environments.
And ladies: we’ve got to stop apologizing. We do not need to be sorry for having boundaries and we do not need to apologize for holding those boundaries, whether they be maternal, professional, or for self. We are incredible, powerful, nurturing and brilliant in all of our roles, but we are also capable of overload. It is up to us to ask for help and to say no to things that don’t fit within what we can handle. It is up to us to enforce the importance of our mental health and dedicate time for true self care that recharges us. Let’s not hesitate to reach out when we need to and proritize our mental health for the benefit that we see in both ourselves and our children. Lastly, let’s remember to give ourselves grace because we deserve it.
With love,
Erin
If you need help, please reach out to a trusted friend or family member, or a mental health professional now. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please dial 1-833-456-4566 (24/7) or text 45645 (4pm – midnight ET). You can also visit http://www.talksuicide.com.
